40-Second Radio Moment No. 1: "Too Dumb to Learn from Dogs"

[Several seconds of rapid typing. Explosive, frantic multiple-small-dog barking. Typing stops.]

Hey!

[Barking continues.]

Hey, that's enough! It's just a little thunder.

[A deep, steady roar rises in the background. Barking escalates.]

Granted, it's weird thunder, but...HUSH! Hush now. For goodness sake, what is wrong with you guys? Come over here and lie down.

[Muffled whining desperation of intelligent animals trying to obey.]

Good dogs, good dogs. Lie down nicely, now. That's it. Mama is right here, so chill.

[Typing resumes. Roar continues. Typing falters, stops. Whining breaks into yelping against one's will with desperate hope.]

That does not sound like thunder. It just goes on and on, doesn't it? It sounds more like, I don't know, a freight train?

[Hysterical dog screams. Ticking of tiny claws running for interior hallway.]

Hey, come back here!